Piss piss, moan and whine.

*We interrupt your regular programming for a random kvetch*
I'm really depressed about having asthma. The first attack I had, I figured 'Ok, I'll take this junk they give me and it'll be ok, I'll get on with life, run my 5k and do my weight lifting'. But last week, running was harder, after 3 minutes, I was gasping for air and taking my inhaler. It didn't help and I had to get off the treadmill. Today I ended up in Urgent Care again. Now I have more medication and a nebulizer to use at home. This just seems to be getting worse and it's so depressing to think that I'm kind of tethered to this medication in order to breathe. I've spent most of my life not being sick, being able to enjoy going outside and wandering in wild places. I haven't a clue how I'm going to fulfill my oath of running 5k, hell, I haven't even got a clue how I'm going to walk the half mile from the bus stop to work without having an attack. Moreover, I keep thinking about how my gran died of an asthma attack. Even now, after all the medication of the day, my chest is still a little tight, but hey, apparently you can cure this shit with meditation, or a vegan diet, or stopping yourself from 'overbreathing'(according to the Butekyo nutters), yes, because breathing too much is a chronic issue for asthmatics...that's right, just get used to having a diminished lung capacity and you won't notice the asthma anymore!

I hate living like this.

*Normal programming shall resume shortly*