Sickness and Health

I hate being sick. To me, there's nothing worse than being laid up, watching the march of days and feeling like they're all being wasted.

Well, except for the feeling that in some way, your body has betrayed you by getting sick. Especially when you'd been taking extra care to be good to your body. It kind of feels like a contract broken, quid pro quo gone.

For the past week or so, I have been that person. It all started just over a week ago with a massive asthma attack that landed me in urgent care. I'd never really taken my asthma seriously before, after all, Army doctors prescribe inhalers at the drop of a hat. But this really messed me up. A nebulizer and steroids later, I thought I was back on my feet, only I wasn't. Every time I went outside I would cough, and fight for air, and in some cases, turn blue. During that week my movement has been limited. Going outside has been a no-no, moving too fast has been a no-no. For someone that was lifting weights and running at least 3 times a week less than two weeks ago, it's been hard. I've gotten into the habit of exercise. I enjoy it. I enjoy becoming stronger and more capable,*more hail*. My life and health have changed because of it. When I work out and am healthy, I have noticeably more clarity, translations and speaking other languages is easier, things don't annoy me as much as they would otherwise, hell, even my dreams are better. I'm happier all round and life doesn't seem like an insurmountable challenge with all the odds stacked against me.

This week of illness, of unhaelu, restriction and weakness has been awful. It's over-dramatic, but life has seemed like the hardest and worst disease when usually I love life. Perhaps it's not a surprise when you're struggling to breathe for large periods of time, it does kind of remind you of your own mortality.

Today I went to the doctor and he tested my lung function. Before using an inhaler, my lungs were at 30% the capacity they should have been at. That was when I wasn't having an attack. So now I have new asthma meds, a way to breathe again and life is suddenly looking much, much better. I also had some good news in that my blood pressure is, in the doctor's words 'perfect', when I was borderline hypertensive this time last year. It looks like I'm managing to change some of the risk factors in the genetic heritage inherited from my father of early heart disease. So it's an understatement to say that I'm looking forward to going back to the gym, and running and lifting things up and putting them down again. I'm looking forward to getting myself back on the path to haelu.